Of all the ways to get support, I think the camp really helps the most. You are all there together for enough time to break down the barriers. Although camp does not focus on cancer, many times we really got down to talking about how we really felt. I have been a counselor at the camp for eight summers now. Most of the campers know that I relapsed three times and I’m doing great many years later. They see the many other long-term survivors who are counselors, and it gives them what they need the most—hope. The best support is meeting survivors, because nobody else truly understands.

When we went to pick up 7 ½-year-old Kristin from camp, she told us how wonderful it had been and exclaimed, “I want to come back every year until I am old enough to be a counselor.” That said it all to me.

Caitlin went to camp, and this was a dream come true for her. As we pulled into the parking lot, she exhaled a deep breath and said, “I made it. I am finally normal!”

There was not a chance my husband would have gone last summer, and all my exhortations about how much fun he could have with our children were in vain. He can’t stand the thought of going to a place for fun where “cancer” is the binding element, so I went alone last year and had the best 6 days since diagnosis! In fact, it was the only time I was really happy since Danny’s brain and spinal tumors were discovered in April. The staff went out of their way to ensure that parents had as much fun as kids, there was constant companionship for the kids, even at meals, and they created such a warm environment for everyone. It is a truly wonderful experience, and it was so hard to leave and come back to normal life and clinics, chemo, decisions. I have been looking forward to this coming summer since I left camp in August.

Thank God for the programs offered in partnership with our hospital such as summer camp, the sibling support programs, and karate. They helped me help 5-year-old Kyle maintain his sanity and mine. One of my biggest worries as a single mom was how I would give one of my children what they deserved without cheating the other. How would I give Kyle a great summer, without excluding Mia (2-year-old being treated for medulloblastoma)? How would I care for Mia without cheating Kyle? Without the staff, the programs, and my mom and sister, I probably would have had a nervous breakdown.

It’s like your psyche has been hit by a truck. Some days the pain is worse than others. Some days your threshold is stronger than others, but allow yourself the help that is available to get back to stable. Take it from me; it is next to impossible to pull from a dry well. So unlike children, we can’t temper tantrum ourselves out of our feelings, we can’t rant and scream and stomp our feet at the unfairness of it all. We can’t just sit in momma’s arms and have a hug and feel better. We have to handle it with an attitude and the responsibility that is expected of being adult. And we have to be a nurse, teacher, mom, emotional measuring stick for our kids, care for the marriage, pay the bills, and, oh yeah, don’t forget about ourselves—all at the same time. It’s just far too much. Say “Yes” to yourself, and your needs—get help when you need it. Other things that I found helpful were:

And anything else I deemed necessary to help me get through it.