The diagnosis of cancer affects all members of the family. Siblings can be overlooked when the parents need to spend most of their time caring for the ill child. Many siblings feel frustrated, angry, frightened, neglected, or guilty, and they may try to keep their feelings bottled up to prevent placing additional burdens on their parents. Often, the place where these complicated feelings emerge is at school. Siblings may cry easily, fall behind in classwork, do poorly on tests, cut classes, challenge teachers, withdraw from friends or school activities, or disrupt the classroom.

To help prevent these problems from developing, you can send a letter to each sibling’s school principal that requests teachers, counselors, and nurses be informed of the cancer diagnosis in the family and that asks for their help with and support for the siblings.

If possible, try to include the siblings’ teachers in some of the school discussions concerning the ill child. Teachers of siblings need to be aware that the stresses facing the family may cause the siblings’ feelings to bubble to the surface during class. Parents must advocate just as strongly for their healthy children’s emotional and educational needs as they do for their sick child’s needs. Chapter 15, Siblings, deals exclusively with siblings and contains suggestions about how to help them cope.