In addition to the emotional reactions already discussed, many survivors and their families experience feelings of anger in the years after treatment ends. It is not unusual for survivors or family members to feel robbed of a “normal” life when they experience reminders of the costs of cancer and treatment. Adolescents just understanding the ramifications of their physical differences, for example, might feel anger that waxes and wanes over several months as they deal with questions like: “Why did this happen to me?” “When will I just be a normal kid?” “What do you mean this won’t ever really be over with?” Parents, too, might feel bursts of anger as they watch their children continue to struggle with late effects of treatment. One father disclosed, for example, that even 20 years after his daughter’s successful treatment for a brain tumor, he has weeks when he is incredibly angry that the possibility of independent living has been stolen from her, and that he must continue to worry about who will provide for his child when he is no longer able to do so.

It is important to keep in mind that feeling angry is a normal, healthy reaction to the losses caused by cancer. You are most likely to feel bursts of anger at times when life changes or developmental demands remind you of the things you have lost to cancer. This might mean that you are angry a year after cancer, or even 20 years after cancer. These feelings might occur with other feelings or might occur by themselves. You might find that your anger, or that of your child, parent, sibling, or partner, is expressed through behavior such as tantrums or angry, destructive actions.

When these angry periods come up, it is best to recognize them for what they are—normal reactions to an unusual life situation—and to express that anger as best you can to those with whom you are close. If that is not possible, or if angry feelings or behaviors get in the way of doing what you want to do in your life or affect your relationships, seek support from a mental health professional, support group, nurse, nurse practitioner, or physician. Survivors and their family members have reported that once they feel supported in putting cancer and its inevitable effects in their place, they are able to more comfortably manage the anger without letting it derail them.