Today my daughter, Alex, would have been turning 26 years old. 

If she were here with us, we would probably be celebrating her special day as a family. Our tradition for years has been a dinner of the birthday person’s choice, followed by cake and presents. As our family has grown older, our birthdays have become more understated, as chances to reflect on life and the joy that our loved ones bring to us. During dinner we go around the table, each of us sharing with the birthday person what we love about them. It can be a little awkward and even funny at times, but it is always sweet. Most importantly, it is a chance to tell the birthday person what we appreciate and admire most about them. 

To mark Alex’s birthday each year, we typically hold our annual Lemon Ball right on or around January 18—it may not be understated, but we certainly celebrate and show our appreciation for her! This year, as we anticipated a rise in COVID cases post-holidays, we moved the Lemon Ball to March 4 (coincidentally, this is our youngest son’s birthday). At first, I worried that the move to March would make Alex’s birthday feel less meaningful, but I realize now that the meaning of her birthday is not defined by what we do to mark the day.

When you have a child who is critically ill with cancer, you always know the importance of every day and every birthday. Even though you know, nothing in the world prepares you for a time when they are not here to celebrate. 

Of course, when Alex was living, she loved her birthdays and we made sure to mark and celebrate them as wonderfully as possible! 

Alex’s very first birthday celebration was delayed by her cancer diagnosis, surgery and recovery. She was in the intensive care unit on that birthday, but we planned a big family party a couple of months later. Alex had dozens of cousins, and everyone was there! It was a special celebration of our amazing girl who had already overcome so much by 14 months old. We were hopeful for her future and for many more birthdays to come. 

Each of Alex’s subsequent birthdays had a special meaning, but the one I remember the most was her 4th birthday. In the months leading up to that birthday, we had been told that her cancer was not curable. Alex started on her first experimental treatment and was headed into a month of intense treatment, which included a long hospital stay. In true Alex style, she said she wanted us to throw her a surprise birthday party. We got right to work planning and, although she was clearly not surprised, she threw on her best “shocked” face when she entered the party. The very next day she went into the hospital for her stem cell transplant – and left a few weeks later talking about the lemonade stand she wanted to hold when the weather warmed up. 

Spoiler: she held that lemonade stand. 

We moved to the Philadelphia area and celebrations became much smaller affairs but still with all the bells and whistles—ranging from a dress-up tea party in our home to a karate birthday bash. 

By her 8th birthday, we knew it would be the last birthday we would celebrate with Alex and wanted to make sure it was one to remember. Our entire family came from Connecticut, and we invited all her local friends to a huge party at Build-A-Bear. I still have the pink poodle she made with the little heart she placed inside with her wish. When I asked her what she wished for, she said very quietly, “For my cancer to go away.” I still get a lump in my throat thinking about that wish—a wish that I knew at that point would not come true. 

I will ache forever thinking of that wish and how much I miss Alex, but it is joyful to remember the ways in which we celebrated her birthdays and all the times between those milestones. It is a joy each year to celebrate her brothers as they’ve grown up. And it is a joy that Alex left us this gift of knowing that her life has made the wish of a cure come true for others. 

Each year, I get to witness the birthdays of other childhood cancer heroes, and I always feel that Alex lives on a little in each of them. One year at the Great Chefs Event, we celebrated Edie’s birthday. Edie is a girl who had the same cancer as Alex but, unlike Alex, she was cured thanks to research made possible through lemonade stand funds. I have seen and celebrated so many kids who have beaten their cancers and grown from a child to a teen to an adult. One childhood cancer survivor we know just became a mom to a healthy baby boy; thanks to research that saved her life after multiple relapses. Taylor got her wish for a cure and so much more!  

The success stories don’t make me ache for Alex less, but they do fill my heart with joy for the legacy she left behind and they fill my soul with hope that we can do more to make wishes come true for all kids with cancer.   

If Alex were to celebrate her birthday today, I would no doubt tell her how amazing she is and I would thank Alex for all she gave me, and all she gave so many.  

Happy Birthday, Alex. We love you. We miss you. We are so proud of you.

Donate in honor of Alex.

In honor of what would have been ALSF Founder, Alex Scott's 26th birthday, please make a donation of $26 to continue her legacy of helping kids with cancer. Then, come spend some time with us on Facebook and Instagram where we will be celebrating birthdays all day long!